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Author Topic: Hawkbit and the Elder Wand  (Read 773 times)

Offline Speedwell

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Hawkbit and the Elder Wand
« on: July 20, 2011, 04:57:18 AM »
So... the other night I couldn't sleep. :p My sister offered to make up a story for me using Watership Down characters. It had no point by the end of it, and ended up being heavy on Harry Potter references, but... here it is.

Hawkbit and the Elder Wand

Once upon a time, Hawkbit, Dandelion, Fiver, Hazel, and Pipkin were hopping through the forest when they came across a weird looking stick. Hazel picked it up and said it tasted somewhat like mahogany. Fiver tasted it as well and agreed. Pipkin picked it up and replied, "Yes, very much like mahogany." But Hawkbit just rolled his eyes and called them crazy, because he knew mahogany didn't exist.

Fiver picked up the stick again and had the sudden urge to scream, "Expellermus!" Once he did, a beam shot out of the stick and knocked a tree down.

Dandelion thought for a moment and said, "You know, this reminds me of a story called El-Ahrairah and The Elder Wand,"

The rabbits sat down to listen to the story, and Dandelion began.

"Once, El-Ahrairah and his friends were hopping through the forest when Frith came down to talk to El-Ahrairah. He told him that his forest was magical, but not magical enough. He created this magical stick called The Elder Wand and presented it to El-Ahrairah. He told him to use that to make his forest more magical. El-Ahrairah tested it by saying, "Avada Kadavra!" and accidentally killed one of his friends. He knew then that the wand really worked. He used it time and time again and each time made the forest more and more magical, until one day, he accidentally turned the forest into a building! Just that day, four wizards named Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Slytherin, and Ravenclaw were walking along and spotted the building. Gryffindor said, "I say! We should turn this into a school and teach magic to young Wizards and Witches! We can call it 'Hogwarts'!" Slytherin replied, "Hogwarts? That sounds like warts on a hog!" Hufflepuff told him to quite being such a ninny and told Gryffindor it was a great idea. Many years later, when they opened Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, El-Ahrairah and his people had been living in the school. One day, El-Ahrairah was hopping around with the wand when it got stolen by a really old guy named Dumbledore! And El-Ahrairah never saw the wand again. The end."

Hawkbit stared at the stick. "So you're saying that this is the so-called 'Elder Wand'?"

"I think so," Dandelion replied.

Hazel said that they should take it back to the warren and decide what to do with it later.

They took it back to Bigwig, who was knitting a sweater at the time, and asked him what they should do with it. Bigwig said that they should test out the magic, so he took the wand and for some strange reason said, "Accio Emily!" and a really weird girl named Emily appeared. She gasped when she saw Hawkbit because he was her favourite WSD character, so she glomped him then pulled out a Kodak camera and sang, "Me and Hawkbit! Kodak Moment!" Then took a picture.

This went on for several weeks, and Hawkbit was becoming fed up with everyone being caught up in the magic and that weird Emily girl coming in and glomping him every time she saw him. So one night, whilst everyone was asleep, Hawkbit took the wand and used the magic to kill the girl since she was so annoying. Then he ate the wand to get rid of it and had magical rabbit poop for the rest of his life. The end.

------

Yes. She is the master of bad fanfiction.

Offline Hawkbit

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Hawkbit and the Elder Wand
« Reply #1 on: July 20, 2011, 04:57:37 PM »
Seems like years since I've heard the word "glomp" on a forum. :p  Did it make you go to sleep or groan in agony? :lol

Offline Myrkin

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Hawkbit and the Elder Wand
« Reply #2 on: July 20, 2011, 05:58:10 PM »
Well... At least it was somewhat funny. :p

Besides... If she is young, there is still chance she will become better writer. ;)
"My heart has joined the thousand, for my friend stopped running today." - Hazel

Pessimist sees a dark tunnel. Optimist sees a light in the tunnel. Realist sees the light of coming train. And the train driver sees three idiots standing on the track.

Offline Speedwell

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Hawkbit and the Elder Wand
« Reply #3 on: July 20, 2011, 09:29:10 PM »
Quote from: Hawkbit on Jul 20 2011, 12:57:37 PM
:p  Did it make you go to sleep or groan in agony? :lol
I ended up falling asleep and having a pretty trippy dreamed up ending where Voldemort and Woundwort joined forces.

And, yeah, I found it amusing. Then at 3 AM last night I was like "HEY. That story thing you told me last night... :D I wanna... put it on that forum I go to. Ha." *insert deranged opening of browser. Sister types story and posts it for me, because by that time I've fallen asleep*

Offline Hawkbit

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Hawkbit and the Elder Wand
« Reply #4 on: July 20, 2011, 10:07:03 PM »
I like the story of how it got posted as much as the story. :D

Offline clgpic

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Hawkbit and the Elder Wand
« Reply #5 on: January 12, 2013, 03:36:17 AM »
Ok, I know this is an older post, but... I just had to read it... And well... xD

Why do I suddenly want to draw Bigwig knitting a sweater?

Strangely enough, I really enjoyed this xD

*runs off*

Offline Speedwell

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Hawkbit and the Elder Wand
« Reply #6 on: February 26, 2013, 04:41:16 AM »
Oh my gosh, Pancake xD That made me laugh incredibly loud while everybody in my household was asleep...