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Author Topic: Watership Down: Tigris and Euphrates - Volume 1: Efrafa  (Read 1753 times)

Online Chipster-roo

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Watership Down: Tigris and Euphrates - Volume 1: Efrafa
« Reply #30 on: November 12, 2017, 11:19:26 PM »
You said before the previous chapter there would be a turning point.  The blurry image made me even more curious.

Your writing style has evolved since the first chapter.  I like it :)

It's interesting how a large portion of the chapter is spent describing Leo's thoughts throughout the situation,

And then, the torture starts again.  Leo seems to be getting better at defending himself, but Hawk keeps getting more violent.  The descriptions of the fighting seem really realistic.

But the kiss...I never would have expected that to happen.  That scene is well-written.  This has the potential to get really interesting later on, and can produce some interesting character development for both characters.

I'll be looking forward to future updates.

(I'm sorry if this doesn't make a lot of sense I'm rather tired at the moment)

Also would it be all right to mention the new chapter on Twitter?
« Last Edit: November 14, 2017, 12:45:10 AM by Chipster-roo »
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Offline Leo-rah

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Watership Down: Tigris and Euphrates - Volume 1: Efrafa
« Reply #31 on: November 14, 2017, 12:59:27 AM »
Don't worry, Chipster, your comment makes absolute sense! ^_^

Thank you soooo much for your very kind words! *hugs* You can't imagine, how glad they made me, especially since you said, that my writing style has improved. It was a lot of work to find the fitting adverbs, adjectives 'n stuff. I even bought myself now an English version of Watership Down, to get more into the kind of descriptions, idioms and language at all. All the more it delights me to hear, that this is outwardly visible!  :bigwig3

It was really difficult to get that deep into a rabbit's perspective, emotions, actions and thoughts, and to wrap them into fitting words, which transport them appropriately. To let them really fight, and not only beating on each other, but to stay in a realistic range at the same time, as far as it's possible on such a story. The kiss was indeed the hardest scene, and I'm glad it came this unexpectedly! :hickory
It marks a complete change of scenery now. You're right, I try to implement a deep development of both later. Especially on one important question: Is it really that easy to tell, what is evil, what is good? I thought that's why Efrafa is a really predestined place for this.

Thank you so much for your detailed comment, I always enjoy reading the thoughts my works caused a lot.  :bigwig3

(It's also kinda late now, but I wanted to write this down now, hah! Time for my burrow now!  :glowingfiver )

Quick edit: Yes, of course it would be alright! I'd feel honored! ^_^
« Last Edit: November 14, 2017, 01:00:00 AM by Leo-rah »
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Offline Acacia Heartstrings

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Watership Down: Tigris and Euphrates - Volume 1: Efrafa
« Reply #32 on: November 30, 2017, 03:40:17 PM »
No problem estimated Leo, better late than carrots =)
As for the recent episode    :pipkin-oh , I can see how things get to the climax of the situation of torture that ultimately comes out the true deep feelings that had kept Leo and Hawk. It is likely that they themselves did not expect it, especially Leo who stayed in full shock. And the truth I did not expect either, this is a dramatic turn of events X3. Love can be found even in the deepest depths of hell itself, it is not easy to find and without doubt one must suffer a lot: terrible tortures, darkness, madness, but at the end of the tunnel there is always light illuminating the path.
Things did not go as you expected, risking your own life, but something good can come out of this.

Very emotional Leo, I hope things improve for our suffering protagonist bunny.   :blackberry2  :blackberry2

While reading, I listened to music by dragon ball and this excellent artist:  

And Leo...

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Everything is fine =) (?)