The Dandelion, that's gone in the wind

[Darkling Nocturnal]

I had a quick chat with Claws about the DarklingNocturnal.com home-site. And so, it came to a small confusion of Hazel and Dandelion. This gave me the idea to this short story.

ADULT WARNING!!! Due to the pun, this story is a bit rude. Since we have no fan-section for mature contents (and I don't know, if we really need one), I will post it here nevertheless.

One beautiful day, Hazel lied in his burrow and was moping. Fiver hopped in and asked, what's wrong.

"Oh dear brother, I'm the leader of this place, but every time, Dandelion raises his voice - this squeaky, annoying voice - everyone gathers around him and listens to his stories. I feel so unheeded."

And Fiver answered: "You know, that you're no great Methrahessi. But you're a great leader. I mean, you brought us all to this place, without any casualties." For a moment, he paused. "But, well. There might be a solution for your problem."
"What is it?" Hazel asked excited.
"You know about the Hedgewizard, Hannah got the magic spell from?"
"You mean Silverweed, not Hannah?"
"No, I mean Hannah. But now, listen to me. There's a island, some miles away from here. On this island, an old turtle is dwelling. She could have the power to help you."

Hazel's gloom was gone. Abuzzing, he's rushing towards Hedge's island. During his journey, he was thinking, why it's called Hedge's Island. Well, after reaching it, it was clear for him. But even the water couldn't stop him. He swam towards the island and met Hedge, the Wizard. He propounded his desire and because Hedge seems to be able to travel through time, the answers are a bit vague.

"Great", thinks Hazel, "not only mind-messing mystics. Now, I have to deal with time-travelling turtles."

And after Hedge finished her lecture, she granted Hazel's innermost wish: Becoming Dandelion. Hazel give his thanks to Hedge and leave her Island, returning back to Watership Down.

Back at home, he thinks excited: "OK, time to make my wish come true".

He closed his eyes, rubs his paws and spells the magic words, Hedge gave him:

I call the great master, living in his tower
I beg for his mercy, please give me the power
I know, I'm your servant, for every hour
The force should transform me into a dandelion flower

If Hazel wouldn't have been so excited, he would have listened more carefully to the words, the Hedgewizard told him. But now, it was too late. Instead of transforming Hazel into a Methrahessi, he found himself grown together with the meadow. He has been transformed into a Dandelion flower.

"Embleer Frith, that can't be true! Is anyone hearing me? Fiver? Strawberry? I'm also fine with Bigwig! HELP!!!"

But noone is listening to the lonely dandelion flower in the grass.

Days later, after Hazel (or the thing, that former has been Hazel) has relinguished all hope, he could see Primrose crossing his way.

"Primrose! Thank Frith! Here I am, help me!"

But unfortunately, rabbits can't understand the calls of flowers. But the look of this gorgeous dandelion flower did not simply passed Primrose's glimpse. She stopped, admiring the flower.

"What a beautiful Dandelion flower, this is."

She kneels down, considering the flower. And with a deep breath, she blows the pappi from the flower. Hazel doesn't know, what's happening with him. He literally has gotten scattered to the four winds.

"Embleer Frith" he was cursing. "You refuse me a blowjob as a rabbit but you give me one as a flower? You damn doe! May Woundwort find you and tear you apart, you silly ***!"

And so, Hazel was gone. Did the other rabbits ever find his herbal remains? The answer is blowing in the wind!

[Chipster-roo]

WTI

This has got to be the silliest thing I have read in a long time.  The idea is so unusual...

Anyway, I like it.  It's rather funny.  It's nice to finally see Dandelion's voice described as "squeaky" and "annoying".

I don't think we need a section for mature fanworks.  It's just a small joke near the end, it's not as if it was the most important event of the story.  And besides, there's a limit to the mature content that can be written about rabbits...

[Darkling Nocturnal]

This has got to be the silliest thing I have read in a long time.

Thank you for the compliment  

I simply had to write this weird thoughts down. And Claws had the idea to post it here

Of course, this is completely cruddy. Or do you expect something else from Claws and me  

[Acacia Heartstrings]

Disturbing..  
 

[Darkling Nocturnal]

Dandelion is always disturbing

[Bright Side]

That's interesting

Really sad for Hazel though.

[Darkling Nocturnal]

I did it. The story is online at my site. May Frith forgive me