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Author Topic: Strifer's Stories  (Read 1384 times)

Offline Strifer

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Strifer's Stories
« on: May 03, 2016, 05:29:24 AM »
Sorry for taking so long to make this, I hope you like it! I'll upload the other chapters as I go.

Chapter 0: Intro
My name is Kalin. I am proud to be the friend of the head guard of Cedarsap Warren. This is my story. The story of how he, Sokol, became the guard of this warren, the story of why the creatures who sometimes pass through here wonder why I'm so different, and the story of Sokol's warren.
Chapter 1: Like a Bullet
Sokol grew up far to the north, in a cold, but strangely homely warren. It was rather bland there and he can't seem to remember it very well, but it was on the outskirts of an abandoned farm. When he was almost old enough to be in the Owsla, his warren was attacked and taken over by elil. Sokol, of course, was never told how, what, or when that happened. He just woke up, and him and much of his warren were on a big hrududu, heading south as fast as the wind on gleaming metal... lines. About half of them were gone, making Sokol one of the strongest there. Over time, some of the other jumped off the hrududu when it slowed down. He never heard from them again. The hrududu stopped along many points and some men in long white coats left boxes. Strange thing is - the boxes are where I come in. You see... I am a fox. Yes, yes I know. A fox telling a story about rabbits surely can't end well, can it? Well, just you watch me prove you wrong. Me and the other foxes that were placed in that giant hrududu had been the subjects of a strange experiment to make us... uh... different. None of us had, or have, a hunger for the meat of anything the size of a rabbit or smaller. We were truly bizarre, but once the rabbits learned we meant them no harm through hedgerow we got along nicely. The wits of a rabbit and the strength of a fox make for a formidable force. Sokol and I probably had the friendliest relationship of any rabbit and fox to ever exist. One particularly gloomy day, the men in white coats that put us there had taken all the other foxes away, other than me and my mate. We were scavenging food from a different section on the hrududu. You also might be wondering how I know the word hrududu. Here's the shortest explanation: me and my partner spent a great deal of time with Sokol. Naturally, we learned Lapine to help with our communications, and he learned our language.
« Last Edit: December 29, 2016, 06:14:34 AM by Strifer »
“I am hopelessly and forever a mountaineer,” “Civilization and fever and all the morbidness that has been hooted at me has not dimmed my glacial eye, and I care to live only to entice people to look at Nature’s loveliness.”  -John Muir


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Offline Chipster-roo

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« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2016, 06:08:47 PM »
You already mentioned this in several threads, it's nice to finally be able to read it.

In this first chapter, you introduce a few characters.  The idea of the foxes being friends with the rabbits is really creative.  The setting is described very well.  Other than that, nothing much happens, but considering the length of the chapter, it was to be expected.

The only issue I have is that first you refer to the train as a "big hrududu", and shortly afterwards you start referring to it as a "train".  Other than that, I like your writing style.

Overall, this is a good first chapter, and I'm looking forward to future updates.  And don't feel sorry for taking so long.  You joined this forum less than a month ago, and you only announced this fic very recently.  It hasn't been a long time at all.
Have you considered making each day count - doing something meaningful each day - instead of letting the days and weeks and months and years fly into oblivion? --Bright Side

Thanks to Rosie Willowwater for the avatar!!


Offline Strifer

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« Reply #2 on: May 04, 2016, 04:31:36 AM »
Whoops, I did refer to it as train. Fixed!

Sorry for the lack of detail, I'm not the best at writing.
“I am hopelessly and forever a mountaineer,” “Civilization and fever and all the morbidness that has been hooted at me has not dimmed my glacial eye, and I care to live only to entice people to look at Nature’s loveliness.”  -John Muir


Art & Nature - all at Strifer's Art and Strifer's Photographs

Offline Bright Side

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« Reply #3 on: May 07, 2016, 11:48:33 AM »
I like when you introduce the narrator as a fox; I did not see that coming. Interesting concept!
Thank you to Chipster-roo for the avatar!

Offline Strifer

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« Reply #4 on: May 07, 2016, 03:13:21 PM »
Quote from: Bright Side on May 7 2016, 07:48:33 AM
I like when you introduce the narrator as a fox; I did not see that coming. Interesting concept!
Thanks! I plan on using him for a lot of things in this story.
“I am hopelessly and forever a mountaineer,” “Civilization and fever and all the morbidness that has been hooted at me has not dimmed my glacial eye, and I care to live only to entice people to look at Nature’s loveliness.”  -John Muir


Art & Nature - all at Strifer's Art and Strifer's Photographs

Offline Strifer

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« Reply #5 on: July 02, 2016, 11:59:18 AM »
Well, this story has more or less been postponed for the time being. I got my new PC after all and as such my documents for the story are not on this one. I will continue this, just at a slower pace. I will also be gone until Monday, so I won't even be doing anything else on here until then.
“I am hopelessly and forever a mountaineer,” “Civilization and fever and all the morbidness that has been hooted at me has not dimmed my glacial eye, and I care to live only to entice people to look at Nature’s loveliness.”  -John Muir


Art & Nature - all at Strifer's Art and Strifer's Photographs

Offline Strifer

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« Reply #6 on: August 18, 2016, 03:02:36 AM »
Well, I'm sorry. I really thought I would be able to carry out this story into a big long one like I had hoped, but I just can't find any more inspiration to continue with this. That and my life keeps on getting busier recently. I'll... just stick to art. It's what I'm best at, anyway.
“I am hopelessly and forever a mountaineer,” “Civilization and fever and all the morbidness that has been hooted at me has not dimmed my glacial eye, and I care to live only to entice people to look at Nature’s loveliness.”  -John Muir


Art & Nature - all at Strifer's Art and Strifer's Photographs

Offline Vesper

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« Reply #7 on: August 18, 2016, 11:59:27 AM »
Oh,Hello Strider.  :silverweed3  Did not see you there on this fine morning. This is the first time I've seen your fanfic and to me, it has great potential. I understand that you seem to have issues with inspiration and motivation towards your story and writing. This is understandable for I have recently felt this in my fanfic "The Hlessi". It is ok to put a momentary pause a project which at first you had yourself motivated to write, but not any more or Life got in the way and there is nothing wrong with that. Maybe in the future, you'll regain your motivation and continue your story, or even come up with something new and original here for I see you have great potential. I don't know if you already know this, but you have a unique writing style that had made it a perfect fit for this story. When I first started writing, I found out that every writer has their own writing style, and because of that. It makes your story uniquely different from the others, but that is the beauty of it.
We wish the Luck of El-Ahrairah on your side of creativity, And we'll always be here if you need us for any assistance in your endeavors, chao;) :silverweed
« Last Edit: August 18, 2016, 11:59:43 AM by Vesper »

Offline Strifer

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« Reply #8 on: December 29, 2016, 06:19:27 AM »
I decided to update this topic to a short stories section from me instead of one long story.
You may be wondering why I did this. Well, I have left that story on hold for so long that I have decided to put it to rest. But I do plan on making various short stories about various series in the future, not just WD. If this topic needs to be moved to a different section now, then by all means go ahead and move it, admins.
« Last Edit: December 29, 2016, 06:19:38 AM by Strifer »
“I am hopelessly and forever a mountaineer,” “Civilization and fever and all the morbidness that has been hooted at me has not dimmed my glacial eye, and I care to live only to entice people to look at Nature’s loveliness.”  -John Muir


Art & Nature - all at Strifer's Art and Strifer's Photographs

Offline Bright Side

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« Reply #9 on: December 29, 2016, 07:36:29 AM »
Moved :)

I'm looking forward to your short stories. Best wishes! :)
Thank you to Chipster-roo for the avatar!

Offline Strifer

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« Reply #10 on: December 29, 2016, 08:01:51 AM »
Thank you.
“I am hopelessly and forever a mountaineer,” “Civilization and fever and all the morbidness that has been hooted at me has not dimmed my glacial eye, and I care to live only to entice people to look at Nature’s loveliness.”  -John Muir


Art & Nature - all at Strifer's Art and Strifer's Photographs