Parody Contest Voting

[Bright Side]

Vote for your favorite entries here! The poll will be open for one week, from September 1st to September 8th.

RULES
1. You may vote for up to two entries.
2. You may NOT vote for your own entry.


Here are all the entries.

Dear members and visitors of Fiver’s Honeycomb,


We actually have no news to report, so we don’t know why we’re even sending this out in the first place.


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List of Contents:

Nothing


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There is no news to report.


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Since our last mailing, a whopping zero new members have registered. Let us welcome:

* Nobody


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As always, the Staff is here for your support. (Not really)

Sincerely,
Your friendly* forum Staff


*In a 2011 survey of Fiver's Honeycomb, 100% of people reported that the Staff is "friendly". This happened to take place when Hawkbit was the only member.

TERMS OF USE
It looks like you're trying to create an account on this website.  You clearly have too much time on your hands, but in the end it's your time, your decision.  We're not going to stop you.

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ARTICLE 3: ACCOUNT TERMINATION
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Once an account is deleted, it cannot be undeleted.  Your IP address will also be blacklisted in our database to prevent you from creating a new account.

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ARTICLE 4: OTHER
Organizing this agreement is complicated and a big waste of time, so in this section, we are going to dump all the rules that don't fit anywhere else.
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Congratulations!  This is a decision you will never regret.  You may now complete the registration form.

What do you think you're doing?  Do you seriously think you're allowed to disagree with these terms?  As a punishment, you will have to read the whole thing all over again.

The shocking truth about Efrafa  

New critters have settled in the area around Watership Down. Pipkin is determined to befriend them all but one still eludes him...

*queue Ash-style special training sequence*

Now... with his trusty Zubat (Name: Darkling) he is finally ready...!

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Text if my crude writing is unreadable:

Hazel: Training every day, Pipkin has really become fit since he joined the Owsla, hasn't he?
Bigwig: yes... If only his motivation were more fit for the Owsla, as well...
Pipkin: I WILL catch you, Articuno-!

Or you can view it here

This is a parody of my novel's mission statement. The real thing can be found on my writing thread.

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My primary objective with The History of the Vacuum Cleaner is to kill the reader – preferably in 5.383640278 seconds, but 5.383640279 seconds is ok, too. To inspire people to burn down the world and/or go to prison is my goal. Another way to take a quiz is by using my novel to get a dead mouse on a crescent roll with some steak. It's better than getting a B on our report card, right? And if people simply mow the lawn, that’s also good.

To this end, The History of the Vacuum Cleaner is a deep novel. And that’s alright; we can't ignore the Star Spangled Banner forever. But how can we go outside if we're already outside?



How can a made-up world with people who exist only in ink and paper have any bearing on the concrete figures surrounding us? Well, it doesn't. Actually, my novel can have no effect on the world and you know what? This is <CENSORED> None of what I'm writing is relevant and we apologize for the over exaggerated break to follow.


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Well, oysters come into play. Some were terrible, and some (to my pleasant surprise) have such a juicy flesh and tender inners. I want The History of the Vacuum Cleaner to be more than a carpenter. I want it to be a tree. Happy birthday, by the way. Something that will sound as pleasant as nails scraping against an old chalkboard. Delicious.

There are only 72 ways to know, but I have worked very hard on my novel. (Not really) There are few things I am truly devoted to, and The History of the Vacuum Cleaner is not one of them.

RANDOM GIF TIME




There is so much effort I have never put into this thing. And, well, I eat as fast as a train that left Chicago at 8:02 AM and is heading for a train that left Ohio at 9:43 AM. No matter the end result, it will all be pineapples.

I don’t know what impact my face will have, whether sesquipedalian or idiosyncratic. But it’ll do something (Not). Maybe, by publishing this novel, I’ll finally

Also viewable here

Here it is!

Feel free to let me know about any questions, concerns, and suggestions. Let's discuss here about the contest!

[Bright Side]

Just in case this wasn't clear, I want to mention that EVERYONE can vote - not only those who participated in the contest

[Hawkbit]

WSD on Twitter gets my vote.

[Bright Side]

We have a clear victor. Hazel, congratulations on winning the 2016 FHC Parody Contest!

Used to be Retro (a RetroJunk.com parody) by Silverweed's Claws   1 (4%)   
What happens after you have clicked on "horrible new design (BETA)" by Silverweed's Claws   1 (4%)   
The Month Where Nothing Happens by Bright Side   2 (8%)   
Terms of Use by Chipster-roo   4 (16%)   
The Shocking Truth about Efrafa by Darkling Nocturnal   5 (20%)   
Pipkin GO by Chibiscuit   1 (4%)   
The History of the Vacuum Cleaner by Bright Side   2 (8%)   
Ceci n'est pas Pipkin by Chibiscuit   0 (0%)   
A WSD parody of Twitter - Critter by Hazel   9 (36%)

You now have the privilege to wear this badge, made by Chipster-roo, on your signature:



It is your choice whether to have the badge

Thank you and kudos to everyone who participated. All the entries were well done.

[Vesper]

Congratulations to everyone who participated int the 2016 FHC Parody Contest, All of you had put your best efforts into it, including Hazel in which I also congratulate. Hope you all had as much fun as I had and had many wondrous laughs with these parody  submissions. And Good Luck for next year's candidates for the 2017 FHC Parody contest. And thanks to all of you for your entries made crack and smile. Thanks      

[Claws]

Congratulations, C! Did I mention that you get to make out with me as part of the prize? You should have taken a better look at the fine print there... :P

[Chipster-roo]

Congratulations on your win Hazel!

Thanks to everyone who entered, and everyone who voted.  You're all positive contributors to this forum.

[Bright Side]

You're all positive contributors to this forum.

I can definitely say the same for you

[Crackers]

Congratulations, Hazel! Everyone did a great job!

[Hazel]

Oh gosh, I'm truly honoured! Thank you for the votes and your congratulations, everyone. It really was fun to enter and I look forward to the next one. Every entry was really great, I wish I could have voted for all of you
I will be using that badge pronto! Thanks, Chipster!
And thanks for making a great community, folks!

Congratulations, C! Did I mention that you get to make out with me as part of the prize? You should have taken a better look at the fine print there... :P

Don't worry, J. I read the fine print many times just to make sure I read it correctly. I'll be waiting.

[Strifer]

Congratulations, Hazel!
And thank you to all of the contestants and their entries. This was hilarious!

[Chibiscuit]

Congratulations, Hazel!! Your entry was submitted last but it was most certainly not the least^^

This contest was really fun. I look forward to the next!

[Hazel]

Thank you! I was worried I wouldn't make it in time. I stayed up until 1:30am getting it done

[Acacia Heartstrings]

What is this ?, is a second competition? and I missed it?
NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!  

I did not realize this message. The wicked colds distracted me.
Congratulations Hazel.
Better late than never!