Defiance- Wolf fursona drawing

[singhcr]

In December 2015 I was in therapy, struggling to keep my mind together. Things were bad. I could barely sleep, and I felt like I was close to a breakdown because I realized I was gay and could not handle that. My therapist saw my drawings and suggested that I draw myself as a superhero. Even though I got physically ill when I drew at the time, I agreed to do it when I could.

Over the next 14 months, I did just that. Some days were good. Others were filled with gut wrenching anxiety and tears. Some days I made good progress, and for months on end I didn't even want to look at my work because I hated myself. Bit by bit, I overcame obstacles and the drawing kept taking shape.

Today, it's finally done. Wow.

This drawing of my fursona Tyrell represents a number of firsts for me.
- First time using myself as a reference photo (thanks to my sister for her photography skills!)
- The camouflage coat. Having to draw my own camo pattern by hand.
- First time shading. Not easy, especially the camouflage coat. Did I mention the coat?
- First background
- Extensive color grading

I strongly identify with wolves, so much so that I consider myself a furry. The wolf is my spirit guide. I have always loved them even as a child, even though I did not know why. They are intelligent creatures; deeply emotional. They are loners but simultaneously part of a pack which is greater than any individual member. They are strong. They persevere. Just like me. So it is only fitting that my superhero identity is in the form of a wolf.

One of my favorite Journey songs called "Anything is Possible" has a line that reads "better to reach for something than to never have tried." Today is proof of the wisdom of that statement. I reached and reached until I got what I wanted, and it can never be taken away from me now.

You can knock me down, break my bones, shatter my mind, and leave me for dead, but I will always get up and fight back. My spirit cannot be destroyed. It is finally being unleashed with a mighty howl of triumph.

That is why I have named my work Defiance.

[Carnation264]

This looks amazing and very pleasing to the eyes

I'm really sorry you had to go through all of that though. I support you all the way and I wish the best for you.

[Vesper]

This indeed looks to be a wonderfully drawn artwork of yours,  my dear friend. Through all the hard work, challenges and effort, it paid off wonderfully with defience.
*Hugs Tightly* I hope you're doing better. We'll be here to support you and once more Wish you the very best.
Good Luck and hope to see more of your artwork in the future.

[Bright Side]

Well done artwork, especially the facial expression and the way both figure and background fit together. Best wishes with IRL

[singhcr]

*hugs*

Thank you all very much, my friends. At first I thought it too much  to reveal the reason for the immense personal significance of my drawing for me, especially being a brand new member here, but I am very glad that I did. I'm a very open and emotional person and I often think that if I share my emotions with others, people will laugh at me for it. Old habits from childhood. But days like today are proof that people will welcome me for who I really am and that I don't have to pretend to be anyone else.

I feel very welcome here, and I thank you all for your love and compassion from the bottom of my heart. <3

As for the drawing itself, I'm quite happy with it. I started out with a paper sketch and did a lot of cleanup and enhancements, especially the neck fur. The camo pattern was very difficult as was the shading. The background took a long time and I added a lot of base layers of green and blue to enhance the contrast of the overall image and make him stand out. What was particularly interesting to me was how I could use color and shadow to make the viewer's eyes go where I wanted them, which was the face.

[Carnation264]

You're very much welcome, Singhcr. Everybody deserves some love and compassion.
I can't wait to see what other stuff you'll draw in the future.

[Chipster-roo]

This is a really amazing drawing, extremely detailed.  You drew the character and his coat very well, and the background is nice too.

I'm really sorry about all your real life problems though Hopefully it has improved...

[Leo-rah]

Really awesome drawing! Love the jacked and how the drawn part is combined with a photo.

Really impressive! Keep those coming.  

[singhcr]

Thanks! I appreciate all the compliments and feedback.

As for IRL things are much improved. Sometimes it is still hard accepting who I am but I have a big circle of friends to rely on when I am not feeling well.

[Bright Side]

Great to hear

[Acacia Heartstrings]

A wolf!. I hope you do not eat rabbits.
Great fursona. A military wolf.

[singhcr]

Thanks! I appreciate it.

I do enjoy tasty treats, but I only eat the evil rabbits.

[Strifer]

Ooo, neat. I really like this drawing, but I guess that's because I like military stuff. Nice camo. I sketched something like this in my own art thread.

[Acacia Heartstrings]

Thanks! I appreciate it.

I do enjoy tasty treats, but I only eat the evil rabbits.

Really?. I only know an evil rabbit, but XD is always sleeping    [CALL]Vesper[/CALL] Muahaha!

[singhcr]

Oh come now. Vesper is a sweetheart!

Strifer: Thanks!