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Author Topic: Writing Event #6: April Fools!  (Read 193 times)

Offline Chipster-roo

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Writing Event #6: April Fools!
« on: March 18, 2020, 01:10:17 AM »
Time to unleash your inner Bluebell :bluebell I am pleased to announce another writing event, centered around April Fools' day!

As with previous writing events, all types of creative writing are allowed: original stories, fanfics (for WD or another fandom) and poetry.  Here are some keywords you can use (thanks to @Crackers for these): jump, prank, rain, surprise.  You don't have to use all of these; use as many or as few as you wish.

Additional details:
  • There are no word count limits: your entry can be as short or as long as you wish.
  • This is not a contest, and there will be no prizes.
  • The deadline is one month from now, 17 April 2020.
Please ask if you have any questions :fiver Have fun everyone! :vervain2
Have you considered making each day count - doing something meaningful each day - instead of letting the days and weeks and months and years fly into oblivion? --Bright Side

Thanks to Rosie Willowwater for the avatar!!


Offline Acacia Heartstrings

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Re: Writing Event #6: April Fools!
« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2020, 02:31:40 PM »
This time if I come up with some crazy story. One or two sheets. I sign up XD       :silverweed3
I love Watership Down!
 
Everything is fine =) (?)

Offline Chipster-roo

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Re: Writing Event #6: April Fools!
« Reply #2 on: March 22, 2020, 02:44:07 AM »
Looking forward to your entry Acacia :fiver Crazy is good! :cowslip
Have you considered making each day count - doing something meaningful each day - instead of letting the days and weeks and months and years fly into oblivion? --Bright Side

Thanks to Rosie Willowwater for the avatar!!


Offline Kili

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Re: Writing Event #6: April Fools!
« Reply #3 on: March 22, 2020, 11:17:58 PM »
I'll see what I can come up with. There's enough time.

Offline Acacia Heartstrings

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Re: Writing Event #6: April Fools!
« Reply #4 on: March 26, 2020, 01:27:14 PM »
The good thing is that we have a lot of time, although I will surely write a 2-sheet story. That will be enough x3 :bolt
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Offline Chibiscuit

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Re: Writing Event #6: April Fools!
« Reply #5 on: April 01, 2020, 08:08:39 PM »
the greatest story evah(tm) by Alder & Chib: ShowHide
Viewer discretion advised!

This parody contains a liberal usage of the concept known as "Doe"! The Doe was a product of a discussion in which it was wondered what makes Hyzenthlay's fur so shiny, and it was determined that this naturally was the result of the BLOOD and TEARS of her enemies.  From thence, Hyzenthlay became known as The Doe, for her allegedly overpowered ways.  However, not all was well in parody meta, for soon it was decided that this über-powered state of being known as Doe could not be restricted to one doe, but any doe who merely heard the magic chant from other does.  So new does could be the Doe.  You follow? And with all of these overpowered does running around a previously buck-centered landscape, the bucks decide to take back what is theirs: The Spotlight.
 
Thethuthinnang:Who wants to be OP today? Hyzenthlay?
Hyzenthlay:Guh, I'm ALWAYS it! Give me a break!
Thethuthinnang:Fine, where's that new doe? Cadbury?
Raspberry:Uh I nominate Nelthilta!
Raspberry:...anyone but Cadbury….
Does a part of the vessel's personality seep into the Doe? You might ask because if not it matters little who you pick. But
if it does... well that changes things, doesn’t it?

The answer, dear, is yes. They are a louder,more arrogant, and a more hammy version of themselves.
Raspberry:I take it back, don't take Nelthilta.
Sorry, too late!
Doe!Nettle:Oh captain, let me tell you ALL about those little plans the girls were making…
Doe!Nettle:But first, DOES PERKS!
Officer:...
Officer:I'll be back Vervain.
Raspberry:mutters And they say I'm licentious…
Thethuthinnang:Already? You must be a maniac when you’re the Doe!
Raspberry:I'm already her Skull Knight? Can't be the Doe too.
Thethuthinnang:Really? We should experiment with that!
Thethuthinnang:…once Nettles comes back...
Raspberry:Might take a while then
 
Meanwhile, at a tavern in Buckland...
Bigwig:We've got to do something about this cult!
Bigwig:Not only is it turning does away from the old stories, but it's making them cocky and annoying!
Vervain: Like you?
Bigwig:It's as if Blackberry was a doe!
Bigwig:Shut up Vervain, don't make me regret inviting Efrafa
Vervain:It's your fault this escalated to begin with, Thlayli
Vervain:We had the Doe Cult nicely suppressed before you came waltzing in
Bigwig:How were we supposed to know you were running something beyond a concentration camp!
Bigwig:Put up signs or something!
Vervain:Are you mad? And invite in external Doe worshippers?
Bigwig:That's what an Owsla is for you cretin. But I suppose that is a bit much to ask from Efrafans
Bigwig:Your only halfway competent officer in Campion!
Campion:That is only partly true
Vervain:Thank you Campion
Campion:I am the only fully competent officer in Efrafa
Vervain: why you mutters darkly
Hawkbit:Aren't you lot missing something important! These darn does already killed two of our number! Can't we be serious for half a tick?!
Bigwig:I don't notice anything different with Hazel gone.
Hawkbit:MY PAWS ARE ABOUT TO FALL OFF FROM ALL YOUR DIGGING!
Vervain:You bucks dig? Pfff get some does
Campion nods
Blackberry:I believe it would be best to avoid having any does near right now...
Pipkin:We could make our other friends dig!
Bigwig:Whoa there, Pipkin. You’re not old enough to drink that!
Pipkin:Cabbages!
Campion:Why did you invite a kitten, Thlayli?
Vervain:I bet that's their most competent officer
Bigwig:...
Bigwig:It was a strategic decision to, I don't know, NOT LEAVE HIM ALONE ON THE DOWN WITH A BUNCH OF MAD DOE WORSHIPPERS!
Chervil:I wouldn't worry too much. They don't hurt kittens
Bigwig:That's what I'm afraid about
Bigwig:They start their propaganda young
Hawkbit:Is that why you never see kittens in Efrafa?
Campion:...
Chervil:...
Vervain:...
Bigwig:I just always assumed they didn’t have what it took
Campion:It is simply safer to avoid does
Dandelion:Hold on! What about these "officer's perks" Bigwig forces me to tell
about every time I tell his story!
Vervain:That was when the warren was still safe and we had the Doe contained in one specific doe
Chervil:Yes. It was important to know the does well so we could spot when the Doe
shifted, just in case
Vervain:but then YOU had to come along and give our carefully crafted marli tharn prison HOPE!
Bigwig:AGAIN! Dark furred rabbits? Eerie under eye glow? A bloodthirsty leader (rest
his soul)? Sullen does everywhere? You really need to work on your branding!
Hawkbit:Probably just could have showed up with a three-leaf clover and that lot would have gotten excited.
Vervain:why do you think we crafted Efrafa's reputation like we did? To KEEP YOU ALL AWAY BUT NO YOU HAD TO BE DOE MAD AND INFILTRATE!
Pipkin:Why can't we be friends?
Blackberry:Pipkin is right
Hawkbit:How unusual.
Blackberry:We don't get along but we can if we want to
Dandelion:Not more unusual than you being right...
Hawkbit:I'm always right! A tomato is a fruit, Fiver lies at least2 times out of twenty, and Pipkin is so plastered he could be singing Nostradamus!
Pipkin: Angel's we have hear on high...
Chervil:Tomato a fruit? These outsiders are mad!
Vervain:We already knew that. But I agree with the doeish buck
Blackberry:...excuse me?
Vervain:Doe!Nettle currently has my brother so let's start discussing how we can kill
her
Campion:you have a brother?
Thalayli:Yes! I got that Bigwig run over by Frith’s messenger, remember?
Hawkbit:That's always my favorite part of the story...
Dandelion:Every part of my stories should be your favourite
Bluebell:since when do you tell stories?
Pipkin: For with the wife of his best friend, he spent his final night of freedom...
Speedwell:Acorn did what?!
Bigwig:Can it, Speedy, he's clearly out of it...
Bluebell:I thought Dandelion was the speedy one
Bigwig:You’re barely canon! Shut up and let the big bucks talk!

Money makes the world go 'round
Let the big bucks talk
The answer it will be found
So go take a walk

Fiver:oh I had a vision!
Vervain:backs off uneasily
Bigwig:He does that
Hawkbit:You just learn to ignore him
Bigwig:Now what was this about your brother getting stabbed by nettles?
Chervil:Does' Perks
Chervil:She was about to pick me until I pushed Orchis at her
Vervain:You did WHAT
Campion:savage
Dandelion:Wait, I always just say that she's that brat who gives you information when I tell stories
Dandelion:Is there something I'm missing?
Chervil:She is the current Doe vessel, of course
Campion:no more officer’s perks.... only does' perks
Hawkbit:Must be lonely over there, fellas
Dandelion:you're one to speak
Bigwig:Shut up you twits. Now, where is she now? Can we just sacrifice the buck who is already supposed to be dead and seal them both in a burrow?
Vervain:Hey! You can't sacrifice my little brother!
Campion:we don't know where she is
Bigwig:We're all your brother
Vervain:but he is my favourite
Bigwig:Efrafa’s not that large, I've been there in case you've forgotten!
Chervil:I never forget a rabbit
Buggloss:We know
Campion:yes, we know, Chervil, stop bragging
Chervil:...just saying
Vervain:Do you really think we'd be here if it was that simple?
Vervain:these does all got each other's back now
Hawkbit:You've been a bit thick before...
Vervain:..........
Hawkbit:(Who's paying for these drinks, anyway?)
Campion:you're not wrong
Dandelion:(you are, of course)
Bigwig:Well, why don’t we just give Efrafa the Sandleford treatment? The whole works?
Hawkbit:(I better take Pipkin home. He shouldn't know those words)
Vervain:...and they say we're "evil"...
Bigwig:No, we say you’re tyrants. The worst form of government.
Bigwig:we're just pragmatists
Campion:technically that is not true anymore
Campion:I am a good boi
Vervain:...
Chervil:oh, so you can brag?
Bigwig:Campion’s perks
Vervain:I don't even want to know. So, are you gonna dispatch off your does too then?
Campion:Unfortunately he is right. The Doe could just as easily move to WSD
Hawkbit:oh you mean like when Hazel DIED
Speedwell:Ahem
Speedwell:And Acorn
Bigwig:Who?
Everyone:Who?
Pipkin:an owl!
Speedwell:The buck who's throat you tore up on our way to the Down?!
Bigwig:I tear up a lot of throats, I don’t remember them all!
Bluebell:He likes to tear around!
Hawkbit:remember when it was your turn to have your throat teared, Bigwig?
Bigwig:Yes. I took it like a buck because my chief told me to.
Bigwig:Now your chief is telling you to shut up and let him deal with this crisis!
Bluebell:A ghost! Hazel has returned as a ghost!
Silver:Why did I come to this...
Blackberry:I have been wondering the same
Bucjthorn:free drinks?
Silver:Who's he?
Blackberry:The waiter I believe
Blackberry:Can I some more grape juice, please?
Pipkin: What do you do with a drunken berry...
Bigwig:Okay, listen.
Bigwig:The only rabbits we have on the Down right now are a bunch of hutch does who hardly know how to hop forward, much less anything about advanced doesit diety cult fantasies.
Bigwig:We need to do something while they're all there at Efrafa.
Cedar:With their non-canon friends too, I should add.
Bigwig:Right.
Silver:...who is he?
Dandelion:(Non-canon friend. From the old new stories)
Chervil:Cedar, of course, looks like a good boi, actually plans on feeding us to a fox
later on for fun
Vervain:Sheesh
Buggloss:Showing off again...
Campion:truly unsightful Chervil
Cedar:What I plan to do for dessert doesn't matter. We're talking about dinner.
Strawberry:Light the place up!
Strawberry:It will shine, like wires!
Bluebell:diner and a show!
Silver gags Bluebell
Silver:Can we just have one less idiot talking at a time?Thank you.
Blackberry:Silver, that's brilliant!
Blackberry:You said the Doe is transferred through song, no?
Vervain:Yes, an awful sound
Campion:I quite like it
Buggloss:He would
Chervil:indeed
Buggloss:He wasn't told to try and shut them up when they were jabbering in the Pit of Despair
Blackberry:What did you do?
Buggloss:Ran away when they started shouting "we shall be free" in my face
Vervain:smart move
Buggloss:Except for that one, Thethunsomething. She said "I shall be free." Selfish harpy.
Chervil:Thethuthinnang. She is the ringleader of the Doe Cult. The one who knew the summoning ritual and first performed it.
Chervil:Her name means Movement of Leaves
Buggloss:Okay. That was useful for once.
Chervil:Of course it was.
Blackberry:Yes, yes, how about instead of fleeing, we try and gag them like Silver gagged Bluebell
Bluebell:wf,qringvqrnj
Hawkbit:Should be easy. Except for, I don't know, the psycho seductress they have in there.
Blackberry:Ah, but she is busy with Vervain's brother right now, isn't she?
Silver:Must have a lot of information
Dandelion:Ahem. Children present.
Campion:Personally I don't understand how it could take so long. Orchis is nothing
special, much like his brother
Pipkin:?
Silver:Have another round kid.
Vervain:Really, Campion? Was that necessary?
Buggloss:Yes.
Chervil:Orchis. Small hyena-like buck. younger brother to Vervain. Unliked by most,
like his brother, except for one crazy doe named Rain
Vervain:....
Hawkbit:Ooh yes, let's make an even crazier doe the Doe.
Bigwig:Whatever we're doing, let's do it now.
Chervil:Rain. Had her brother give her an additional Mark besides her Neck Mark just to be with Orchis
Vervain:...can we gag him too?
Silver:With pleasure
Silver:Wait, Pipkin took the rest of my napkins for a fort.
Hawkbit:Wonderful
Dandelion:This sure has the makings of the greatest story ever...
Speedwell:If only Acorn were here
Dandelion:Yeah, I'd make him tell it.
Fiver:The burrows are full of bunnies
Fiver:And...um...bloodies
Hawkbit:losing his touch, is he?
Campion:that is just every day at Efrafa
Bigwig:Gah!
Flips table
Blackberry:my grape juice!
Bigwig:We're getting nowhere! Let's get hopping! I think out of everyone here,
Vervain, you'd at least be a little concerned about your favorite brother.
Vervain:Of course I am
Bigiwg:Now let's go try this gag trick before the does make a more competent doe a
Doe!
Vervain:but I am even more concerned for myself...
Silver:FINALLY action!
Hawkbit:Called it.
Campion:let's wage a honourable battle
Vervain:let's just not die
Blackberry:Let's not forget Pipkin
Vervain:He's coming with us?
Chervil:we could throw him at the Doe
Blackberry:You want to pay the tab he'll rack up alone?
Dandelion:Hawkbit's got us covered
Blackberry:Classy Chervil. I was actually starting to like you.
Hawkbit:Shut up, flower face
Chervil:don't worry they won't hurt him. I know so, you see
Blackberry:…excuse me? What are you all talking about?
Bigwig:Doesn't matter, let's just GO!
Blackberry:Yes, let's
Silver:I agree.
Vervain:After you lot
Bigwig:It's your bloody warren
Bigwig:We don’t know how to get there from here!
Vervain:...you've been there before!
Bigwig:Carry on my wayward son.
Doe: There will be peace when you are done
Vervain:?!
Campion:What is it now
Vervain:D-did you just... n-never mind, you lead Campion.
Chervil:yes let Golden Boi lead
Buggloss:Only the General called him that
Chervil:I know
Chervil:it motivates him
Bigwig:I don't care if he called him Jerry Hazelnut, let's go!
Speedwell:Do not speak the name of that Acorn whacker
Hawkbit:The deuce you on about?
Silver:LOOK
Silver:IF WE DON’T LEAVE NOW I AM GAGGING ALL OF YOU
Blackberry:...
Blackberry:a bit aggressive but yes I agree
Pipkin:You’re not taking my boat!
Blackberry:I have my own fleet at the ready
Vervain:I can just swim
Chervil:Yes, he is a mermaid
Cedar:All you bucks are just so special, aren't you.
Foxglove:All you rabbits are the same
Hawkbit:Okay, I know for certain he's not a friend, canon or non-canon!
Fiver:The -- the rabbit… it is covered in BLOOD!
Silver screams
Foxglove:Soon they will be
The hrair bucks of the meeting room are propelled forcefully out the door by Silver's hind legs, eventually helped by Bigwig. (edit
of shame by authah Alder)

Blackberry:...thanks I guess
Foxglove:You white buck, would you be interested in becoming a Red Tail?
Hawkbit:I miss Hazel...
Speedwell:No, you miss Acorn.
Hawkbit:...no,I miss Hazel.
Dandelion:acorn aren't even tasty
Strawberry:How many wires should I pack?
Buggloss:They go good in pie.
Silver:One for every buck here
Silver:Two for the fox fanatic
Foxglove:Nono, placing those on the meadow would be dangerous for the cubs!

Eventually, they make it to Efrafa
In one piece even
Except for Fiver, who lost a part of himself on the journey
And Blackberry who lost 10% of his fleet
Bigwig:Okay, let's split up and cover their escape routes. One Efrafan and one
Watershipper per entrance, this is a team effort.
Silver:And make sure you use the gags before you use the wires. No sense in letting them scream like Valkyries.
Campion:wait why do we need the wires if we have the gags?
Strawberry:just wires then!
Bigwig:It's the only way to be sure.
Bluebell:Paws in everyone!
Bluebell:1...2...3...
HRAIR
Campion:I suggest Vervain goes to seek his brother
Vervain:what why
Buggloss:You've been goin' on about him this entire time!
Buggloss:What do you mean why?!
Vervain:well he's not going anywhere anytime soon
Chervil:if I may
Buggloss:No
Blackberry:Please
Chervil:Thank you
Chervil:We seem to have a small logistics problem
Chervil:There are far more of you than us so pairing up as Thlayli suggested is
impossible
Blackberry:He has a point
Thlayli:What are you on about? There's hriar of us, and hrair of them!
Foxglove:How conceited of this rabbit to change his name on a whim
Silver:how about we just spread out and start gagging?
Strawberry:And shining!
Silver:if it's a doe, it's an enemy. Simple as that
Hawkbit:It's going to be lonely for a while, eh fellas?
Blackberry:I can't help but feel we are insuring our own doom in the long run with that line of thinking...
Dandelion:nothing much new for you then
Hawkbit:Shut up
Speedwell:We have those two hutch does. They're very nice.
Blackberry:I feel sorry for them
Bigwig:You'll all be feeling sorry for yourselves if we don't go now.
Bigwig:Break!
Vervain:for once I agree
They spread out

Hawkbit, Pipkin, Vervain, and Silver all findthemselves in a highly dysfunctional group, hopping down one of the runs
Pimentel:Are you sure this will help me face my fears?
They hear a voice down the hall
Pipkin:I found one! I found one! I was first!
Pipkin dashes off
Hawkbit:Well we're doe food.
Vervain:normal does aren't too dangerous
Silver:Time to gag 'em!
Moments later
Pimentel:GAH!
Pipkin:Tag Tail!
Pimentel:K-koda? Is that you?
Pipkin:Koda? No I'm Pipkin! Nice to meet you, marm!
Pimentel:Oh. N-nice to meet you t-OOOORGasdghf
Hawkbit:I got one! I can't believe I got one!
Vervain:You have been lonely huh
Hawkbit:I swear if it wasn't so dark I'd-
Silver:Shut up. She was talking to someone. Where'd she go?
Vervain:Shall I torture her to get the answer?
Hawkbit:And you call ME desperate!
Silver:Do it.
Vervain:smiles
Vervain:I suggest you take the kitten for a moment, lonely buck
Pimentel:GerGASODGnjFFE_?
Hyzenthlay:Pimentel? Is that you down there? I have the bobstones!
Vervain:It's that shiny doe!
Hyzenslay:You...
Hyzenslay:I know your stench anywhere...
Vervain:quickly, gag her! She has some Doe residue left in her!
Hyzenslay:I swore it took three Friths for your stench to come out last time you got
offic- ASGHREFDHRJGKDFDASTHFBTT!!!!
Campion:Honestly, Vervain, what would you do without me?
Vervain:...be loved by all?
Bluebell:Oh, is he your funny rabbit?
Campion:he is a rather funny rabbit
Vervain:... yes let's just move on
Silver:Right, so there are only a couple does left who are worth being named.
Cedar:Don't forget my non-canon stalker crush
Hawkbit:Are you Chervil now, Silver?
Silver:...Inever said I could give you their Efrafan Security Number
Vervain:wait who is crushing and who is stalking?
Campion:I could help with that
Silver:Look, let's just keep moving
Silver:Nettle doe will be done eventually
Silver:And we have to be ready
Vervain:Right. I suggest we go to the council room next
They follow Vervain's advice. For some reason.
Because he is always right, of course

Thethuthinnang:Oh Raspberry, how do you get your coat so red and glossy?
Raspberry:Mostly the dew of the meadow I run each morning
Raspberry:and bug blood
Thethuthinnang:...wouldn't it be more appetizing to use fruit juice instead?
Raspberry:I've thought of that but the Red Tails hog all the red currants
Raspberry:Besides catching the bugs is quite fun
Cedar:Not as fun as catching the look on your face!
Raspberry:Cedar? Cedar!
Raspberry:Where have you been? I missed you!
Raspberry is hit by a flying Pipkin
Raspberry:oof
Raspberry:what the Frith
Pipkin:Hi!
Hawkbit:Nice shot. Weren't you supposed to use that distraction?
Raspberry:uh hello? Who are you, kitten?
Pipkin:Your worst nightmare!
Vervain:I say it was a good use of the ammunition
Pipkin brandishes Wire
Raspberry:Wh-what the
Raspberry throws Pipkin back at the bucks
The bucks kick him back over the net
Leaves:I got it!
She slides over the floor and manages to return it over the net again
Hawkbit:where did that net come from anyway?
Speedwell:Don't ask, just watch!
Speedwell Spikes
Speedwell:For ACORN!
Raspberry gets hit on the head by the Pipkin Ball
Raspberry:ARGh just like an acorn!
Thethuthinnang:Maybe you bucks should have paid a bit more attention to the net like your gray friend suggested.
Thethuthinnang:Or should I say, the Nettle
NettleDoe: Hello dears~
Vervain:GAh!
Buggloss:I coulda sworn she would have had more information!
NettleDoe: Oh I am far from satisfied, dear
Vervain:... where is my brother?
Campion:Look, her only ability is increased immaturity. We can easily take her. Over the top bucks!
Silver:Let me!
Silver eagerly moves in, gag in paw
Thethuthinnang panics, and starts chanting
Vervain:No, stop her!
Fiver is hurled
Bigwig:What, he's about the same size!
Hawkbit:...I miss Hazel
Fiver: I foresee a collision! as he flies through the air in a different time so that he has the chance to say something
Raspberry jumps between the projectile and target, getting him full force by Fiver
Silver:I got her! I just had to whisper gossip in her ear long enough to strangle her!
Blackberry:Strangle?
Silver:Strangagle...?
Blackberry:...you worry me Silver
Thethuthinnang:Too late!
Cedar:Huh? There's no other does left? The singer can't be the Doe and the psycho
skull knight already ruled herself out!
Chervil:as you may recall I did mention another doe
Hawkbit:Dandelion?
Raspberry:I am NOT a psycho!
Vervain:Blackberry?
Cedar:Tell it to the fox, floozy.
Foxglove:That isn't Nettle
Raspberry:Exclusive! Love! You!
Silver:what do you mean, that isn't Nettle? Who did I strangle then?
Blackberry:Gag
Chervil:That is Nettle, also known as Nelthilta, overly fond of gossip
Silver:same difference
Foxglove:I know all rabbits and that is not Nettle
Chervil:I KNOW ALL RABBITS AND IT IS
Buggloss:Oh great, another Face Book 'er
Blackberry:wait, are there perhaps two Nettles?
Silver:Impossible, each rabbit's name is COMPLETELY unique.
Hawkbit:Sure it is.
Chervil:True. I have only record of one Nettle
Foxglove:So do I but it is not this rabbit
As the bucks continue their pointless dispute,Thethuthinnang sneaks away…
END OF PART I
« Last Edit: April 02, 2020, 03:41:05 PM by Chibiscuit »
"You can come here, the land of warm days, grassy fields, and pleasant evenings, where even the shadow of war cannot darken the love at home." -Alderab

Offline Chibiscuit

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Re: Writing Event #6: April Fools!
« Reply #6 on: April 17, 2020, 05:20:54 PM »
the greatest story evah(tm) by Alder & Chib {II}: ShowHide

Autheh: is Why you gotta end teh parts of your charators(sp?) go NUTSO!
Bucjthorn: Who is that? Sounds like an irrelevant and forgotten rabbit.
Blackavar: I KNOW, RIGHT?(The censoring of Blackavar?!)
Strawberry: Once the wires get him...
Thalayli: They'll get you if you don't stop talking about them!
Strawberry: They are the only ones who do.
Blackberry: We'll all get got if we don't find where that doe went!
Blackberry: Did anyone see where she went?
Raspberry: I did.
Hawkbit: We're in a pitch black warren, doofus.
Raspberry: I repeat, I did.
Pipkin: Can we go home now? I have a headache!
Fiver: Our heads will hurt even more to come.
Raspberry: You bucks are as deaf as you are blind.
Vervain: Can we go look for my brother now?
Bigwig: I'm right here.
Vervain: Not you. My cute brother.
Buggloss: Did anyone gag that psycho skull doe?
Buggloss: I think we got everyone else.
Cedar: I got this.
Raspberry: No bun gags me! Not even you, Cedar!
Raspberry throws a bone at Cedar and runs off.
Raspberry: And I am NOT psycho!
Hawkbit: I guess we know who wears the armor in that relationship.
Silver: Bah, she shouldn't be too much of a problem, I doubt she could even sing the whole song.
Silver: Seems like her entire vocabulary was limited to "Cedar", "love", and "not".
Hawkbit: Not necessarily in that order.
Vervain: She is not even Efrafan. It is the ringleader we need to worry about.
Thalayli: Right, let's split up and beat up.
Buggloss: That literally, never works.
Silver: But it is fun.
Strawberry: Snares!
Blackberry: Do we even know she's still in Efrafa?
Vervain: Most likely.
Campion: We are under the impression the summoner needs to know the vessel in some way to summon the Doe in her.
Vervain: Another reason to AVOID contact with outsiders.
Bigwig: Again, banners work wonders.
Vervain: Criticizing another after the fact is so easy.
Chervil: Should we visit the Pit of Despair next?
Buggloss: That's where she first tried to bite me!
Silver: Sounds like the right place then.

The party goes down to the Pit of Despair, a strange square bricked room with the view of the sky far above. Bluebell is volunteered to be pushed in first.
Bluebell: Cozy.
Bigwig: You see anything, slug gob?
Bluebell: I see the world!
Blackberry: Why did we send him in again?
Bigwig: In case we needed a strong presence on our flank to guard against ambush.
Hawkbit: He's expendable.
Campion: At least your warren still has the luxury of expendable rankers.
Buggloss: All we have is Vervain.
Vervain: I am all Efrafa needs! ...wait no I meant...
Buggloss: Really? Alright, next Mean Doe Time is all you.
Vervain: ugh ... Blueberry do you see a tiny white buck in there?
Blueberry: Now I see her, now I don't!
Silver: Her? Wait, what?
Campion: Enough nonsense, let's go in there. Can't be too dangerous if he still lives
now.
Hawkbit: Unless she mistook him for a kitten.
Campion: I will have the honour of ending this!
Buggloss: All you, Golden Boi.
Campion boldly enters where others have entered plenty times before him.
Silver follows after him, gag in paw.
Pipkin comes next, wire happy.
Blackberry: Someone really should take that away from Pipkin.
Hawkbit: Be my guest, Blackberry.
Strawberry: They grow up so fast! wipes away tear
Somewhere down the run, a flash of light engulfs the Golden Boi and co.
Silver: GAH! There really was a second Nettle!
THE Doe: Not quite, dearest.
Campion: The Doe!
Vervain: The Doe? Well good luck, Golden Boi!
Campion: What happened to a team effort?!
Vervain: Good luck outsiders!
Vervain: Better?
Hawkbit: No.
Bigwig: She is only one doe. Just surround her, surround her and attack! Come on lads!
Silver: Where's that species confused buck? He knew about this second Nettle!
THE Doe: What makes you think I was Nettle?
Foxglove: Also not Nettle.
Blackberry: The Doe becomes manifest through song, so that means if someone else could have been taught the chant...then this could be...
THE Doe: smiles
Chervil: Thethuhinnang. We are doomed.
Buggloss: THAT'S what you have for her dossier?!
Chervil: It is all I needed to know.
Foxglove: Mine is usually limited to name and weight.
Cedar: And safe cooking temperature.
Silver: Well, she's just going to be more immature like the last one, right?!
Chervil:....
Campion: Frith help us all.
Vervain: If only...
THE Doe: I knew if I waited long enough you would eliminate all my rival
vessels. With so many of us, my power was diffused. But now that I can become who I was meant to be...
Buggloss: Please don't say it.
THE Doe: I shall be free.
THE Doe: Dearest.
Vervain: ....what if we just... stand aside?
Bigwig: And let her spread the cult across the realm? Not hardly!
THE Doe: What makes you think I need to go anywhere to spread
my song?
Blackberry: Of course, beyond making the vessel an immature psychopath, the Doe also magnifies the user's natural talents!
Blackberry: Well played!
Silver: She can't sing if she's gagged just like any other doe.
Raspberry: Um hey Doe sorry to interrupt but don't forget your promise. Cedar?
Cedar: wat
THe Doe: of course, Skull Knight. I will leave him to you.
Cedar: Someone please killeth me.
Raspberry: dons bone armour Let's get started then.
Bigwig: This is it lads, remember Owsla training!
Dandelion: Right. Hawkbit, lay down.
Pipkin: I can leap a log!
Pipkin leaps off Hawkbit's back and smashes into THE Doe with an unrealistic amount of force.
Thalayli: My old son...
Campion: We can do that. Vervain, lay down.
Vervain: Like Inlé I will!
The Doe catches Pipkin.
The Doe: How original. Throwing a kitten once again.
Dandelion: Remember my stories? Be clever and full of tricks!
Pipkin: Surprise!
Pipkin pulls out a wire.
But gets whacked away by a bone!
Skull Knight: Seen that before too.
Thalayli: My chief told me to hold a run once, and hold it I did. I'm the chief now, and if I say that you can't leave, you won't!
Bigwig does something that looks cool in his head!
Blackberry: That's not how that works....
Skull Knight: What is that furhead doing?
Vervain: Gymnastics?
Bigwig: Come on now lads! Strap up your leg warmers!
Auteh: s0ddenly bucjthorn appearz!
Bucjthorn: You shouldn't have forgotten about me!
Skukl Knight: Gah! Who is he?!
Auteh: he lancherz kameahmaeah atomic s00per attack out if his pawzez!
Auteh: everyone diezzzz!
Auteh: cept his frends
Auteh: so nboidy survive basicallu

 :frith :frith
Blackberry: Honestly Dandelion, after all your practice I thought you could end a story better than that.
Dandelion: It is a lack of will, not skill.
Pipkin: But what happened to The thumb rang doe?
Pipkin: I wanna know if I strangled her!
Blackberry: Gag you mean.
Silver: No, I gag, Pipkin strangles.
Hawkbit: With you lot around I'm surprised we didn't kill more Efrafans.
Hazel: And why did you write me out of the story? Lazy writing is what I say.
Acorn: Guess we now know why we're lucky to have you, Chief.
Dandelion: Yes it was the true moral of this story: don't ever let Bigwig be our Chief.
Hawkbit: I could have told you that three seasons ago.
Bigwig: I know when I'm not appreciated.
Bigwig: I'm going to go hold my bed until...
Thalayli: I'm not tired.
And then it was time Alder went to bed.
End of Quarter VI
 :sarcasm
Hawkbit: I was wondering why Dandelion seemed more clever than usual with his "clever" rebuttals. He had ages to come up with them telling the story!
Auteh: ecsus me are u dishhing owr story tell?
Hawkbit: All I'm saying is, if Dandelion is half as clever as you made him sound, he'd be chief.
Dandelion: I clearly have the makings of the greatest Chief ever!
Hazel: Is that why you had me off'd in your little fairy tale?
Dandelion: It is bound to happen.
Hawkbit: And who were these Cedar and Foxglove fellows?
Silver: A couple of loons, sounds like.
Blackberry: Indeed. Not to be trusted. Why'd you add them?
Acorn: Wait, you’re more concerned about these random bucks he added than the fact that he thinks the does can start a deity cult?
Acorn: Everyone knows does only dig!
Blackberry: And you're more worried about that instead of not existing?
Blackberry: If bucks can dig, does can start a cult.
Hyzenthlay: If only it would have as much teeth as Dandelion claims...
Thethunthinnang: And why was I the crazy one?
Hawkbit: Revenge for pronouncing your name?
Clover: It could never have been me.
Hyzenthlay: Did no one stop to think that the main purpose of our cult, "does
perks", is the exact same thing as "officers perks"?
Hyzenthlay: What a waste of time!
Hyzenthlay goes to silflay.
Silver: Didn't seem to be Thethurhinnang's goal.
Clover: She has a point though. What a waste not to include me! goes to silflay as well
Hazel: I say this whole ordeal really tired me out.
Acorn: That's how it starts.
Haystack: How what starts?
Acorn: oh err um nothing, nothing...
Speedwell: Smooth
Haystack: Whatever. At least Speedwell called me a "nice hutch doe".
Hawkbit: And Bigwig said you barely know how to hop forward.
Blackberry: Technically it was Dandelion who said all those things.
Haystack: Technically, he called you a buck the whole time too.
Blackberry: I AM a buck!
Blackberry: What is wrong with you all?!
Haystack: ...
The forgotten trio go silflay
Blackberry: Seriously, I can prove it you know!
Silver: Please don't.
Pipkin: Say Hazel-rah, what's a tavern?
Hazel-rah: It's a place where bucks go to argue even more than usual, Hlaio-roo.
Hazel-rah: Blackberry, stop not-digging. We all know you’re not a doe.
Blackberry: Bucks can dig too you know.
Hawkbit: You're very good at digging your own grave...
Fiver: So, do my visions really sound that...inane to you guys?
Hawkbit: It was the most accurate part of the story.
Thalayli: Hawkbit, do we need to have another "talk?"
Hawkbit: You're not the Chief.
Bigwig: According to Dandalion, I am. That's one less "vote" I need to "acquire."
Hazel: This is not a democracy.
Bigwig: Yes sir.
Pipkin: I'd like Bigwig!
Pipkin: He makes me play games that make me swol!
Hazel: What a shame. I already talked to Hyzenthlay about being my successor. She is co-chief after all.
Blackberry: Are you letting Pipkin decide our future now?
Hazel: How so?
Blackberry: Since he mentions Bigwig and suddenly you decide not to make Hyzenthlay the next Chief.
Silver: I think you misunderstood that statement.
Teh authah; I sertzntly didnt!
Hyzenthlay: What's this about me not being chieftess?
Hazel: Nothing dear.
Hyzenthlay: Good. Keep it that way, dear
Hawkbit: Don't start this.
Hawkbit: Go get a burrow.
Hazel: You being lonely was the most accurate part. Let's go dear, Chiefs' Perks!
Pipkin: Am I too young for this?
Blackberry: Everyone keeps using that word. I don’t think it means what you all think it
means.
Dandelion: It's you who doesn't know. Bigwig told me all about it for his epic story
Silver: I'll take Pipkin out of here...
Blackberry: You believe half of what he says?! He's a story teller, he could just have made
it all up!
Silver: True or not, I just want out of this idiotic discussion to get some flayrah.
Silver: I suggest you do the same.
Silver takes Pipkin and leaves.
Hawkbit: You know what? Fine. I'm going to prove you all wrong and go find a doefriend.
Dandelion: That has the makings of the greatest tragic comedy ever...
Hawkbit: I haven't seen any does in your burrow lately!
Dandelion: What were you doing in my burrow?!
Dandelion: Besides, that's because I was in hers smirks
Blackberry: This is...kittenish.
Blackberry: I'm leaving.
Hawkbit: Me too.
Hawkbit: Have fun telling your stories to the slugs.
Bluebell: aaah to be a-- gets hit by dirt
Hazel: Let's finally go, dear.
Hazel and Hyzenthlay leave
Holly: And that's when I said to Bigwig, 'you shall not pass!' and punted him off the
bridge!
Blackavar: WOW, NO WONDER HE RAN AWAY FROM SANDLEFORD!
Holly and Blackavar come hopping in from a patrol….
…but the spotlight had faded as they were not fated to
be in it.

The “autheh” was fired for complete incompetence by Alder
and Chib.



THE END (?!)
"You can come here, the land of warm days, grassy fields, and pleasant evenings, where even the shadow of war cannot darken the love at home." -Alderab

Offline Acacia Heartstrings

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Re: Writing Event #6: April Fools!
« Reply #7 on: April 30, 2020, 04:33:34 PM »
It was a confusing and strange story to follow. I did not understand many things, but I think the main enemy was the cult of Hyzently "The Doe"

And they were all in a bar, and then go to the enemy's hiding place?
And in the end it turned out to be a Dandelion story? I think the funniest thing of all was how they made fun of the supporting characters and how they defeated The Doe XD
It was difficult to read and confusing, but it was fine thanks XD    :hickory2     :silverweed3
I love Watership Down!
 
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Offline Alderab

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Re: Writing Event #6: April Fools!
« Reply #8 on: May 01, 2020, 10:42:51 PM »
Don't worry, it was even stranger and more confusing to write.  Thanks for the read!
You like writing?  I like writing!  Let's Write!

http://fhc.soopergrape.com/index.php?topic=2357.0

Offline Acacia Heartstrings

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Re: Writing Event #6: April Fools!
« Reply #9 on: May 03, 2020, 04:44:43 PM »
It is a pleasure, the parts that I like the most are when there are my favorite bunnies like Hawkbit and Fiver. Although the latter consider him crazy LOL
I love Watership Down!
 
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